I hate talking with teachers about Student’s behavior and how best to facilitate interaction between him and other students.
It always goes something like this:
Teacher: “Student started helping a classmate with a problem, but when the classmate still made a mistake, Student yelled at them that they were lazy and must not care!”
Me: “Ok. That happens because Student doesn’t have an intuitive knowledge that what he’s thinking and experiencing is not what someone else is thinking and experiencing. It’s extremely difficult for him to put himself in someone else’s shoes.”
Teacher: “Oh, right. See that’s the compassion thing I was talking about—”
Me: “NO. Student has compassion, we see that in his eagerness to help others.”
Teacher: “Yeah, but the empathy just isn’t—”
Me: “NO. It’s not empathy he’s lacking. He just has a shaky understanding of other people’s consciences, can’t accurately guess what others are thinking, and therefor tends to assume others know what he knows.”
Me: “So, in the situation you’re talking about, Student noticed someone struggling and thought he would give them his knowledge so they would know what to do and not have to struggle. But once he told them what he knew, he assumed they now had the same understanding he had. So when they then make more mistakes, he assumes they’re doing it on purpose or refusing to listen to him.” So, you see he cares, he just gets frustrated and misreads others’ motivations due to his disability.”
Teacher: “So how can you get him to care about other people?”
This is a perfect illustration of why a lot of Autistic adults like myself maintain that it seems to be Allistics, not Autistics, who have difficulty “caring about other people”.
Jeebus fricken crapapple.